I’ve had it suggested to me that I should put my relationship status in my bio, but it wouldn’t make a difference. I’ve had it there before and it made no difference to the messages I get. They pay no attention to your bio. They just see a picture and decide to message. Even when you tell then you’re married 99% of them still try their luck.
That and it shouldn’t need to be the case. A woman should not have to be in a relationship to be respected by men.
I’ve had women tell me they’ve worn rings to pretend to be taken. She should not have to pretend to be to be respected by men… not that men always pay attention to it either.
These men don’t care about respect or consent they just want a woman to be there’s, regardless of her wants; but it doesn’t work like that.
I’m sick of it and I know many women who feel the same. So I set up the ‘Not Your Toy‘ campaign on Mercht.
Not Your Toy came about after I shared a post on Instagram, where I had a mini rant about how women do not owe men sex. We are our own people and not their possessions, we are not their play things. Honestly it’s a topic I could vent about for hours.
If the campaign is a success we can raise around £60 for SARSVL. Now, I know that’s not a lot in the grand scheme of things and it does rely on the sale of 50 T shirts and/or hoodies but it’s something and something is better than nothing.
SARSVL provide a safe space and support for rape survivors and people who suffered through sexual violence as children.
Now, I can’t pretend I know what it’s like to be groomed and turned in to a sex toy as a child but I do know what it’s like to live through being raped. I know what it’s like to believe it’s all your fault and that you deserved it. I know what it’s like to not be believed.
I know what it’s like to be slut shamed and assumed to be an easy lay.
Fellas, girls aren’t gonna drop their knickers because you demand it and kicking off like a an over grown man-child, assuming every woman who doesn’t fall to her knees and immediately suck your dick is gay just shows how insecure and immature you are. If you’re not ready to handle rejection like a grown up, you’re not man enough to handle a strong woman.
Thing is, even men are sick of the bullshit these toxic ‘men’ are perpetuating. You can clearly see that from the number of men up in arms shouting “not all men”. Lads, while I’m on this subject, your point has been noted by every woman ever and we never say every man is the same (some do but they have their own issues), so please, sit the fuck down, shut up and just have our backs. We want allies not hurt egos.
So, back to what I was actually saying…
Men are not owed sex. It is not an entitlement, it is not a right or an obligation, it is a choice. It is a woman’s choice to give her body to a man if she chooses to, just as a man chooses to want a woman.
Now, I am deliberately using the words man and woman, and using a heterosexual dynamic as the example because I have never had a member of the LGBTQ+ community assume I was there to please them. I have ONLY had these issues with straight cis men.
So to the straight white men. I am not your toy.
I will not share nudes with you just because you tell me you love my breasts.
I am not here to be your free source of porn.
I am not here to give you your kicks.
I am here to just be me and if that fucks with your self centred universe then sorry not sorry.
Women should be allowed to wear whatever they please, act how they please and be where they please without being harrased and groped at.
A woman should be able to talk open about sex without a man assuming it is an open invitation to fling his penis in to her DMs.
You need to back the fuck off and keep your penis to yourself, cause you are the only person that thing is pleasing.